i always cared too much

and it's not your fault, really,

this morning i couldn’t get out the door at all, i was puttering around,

thinking,

pacing,

cutting my hair little bits at a time

and puttering,

and

sometimes i remember that my body understands,

sometimes i remember, and today

i had my medicine mary and remembered that

last night i had a dream i saw everyone from the car accident,

all in one place, somewhere grassy,

still new york,